August 29, 2016

August 25, 2016

The whole school got a progress report except you?

You mean to tell me that the whole school got a progress report except you?

"You mean to tell me that the whole school got a progress report except you?"
* photo of Kobe Bryant looking like a pissed off mother *

August 23, 2016

"I look ugly here."

I look ugly here

When a girl who knows she's a 9.9/10 uploads a selfie with the caption "I look ugly here."
* photo of guy with the words "shut the fuck up" written on his fingers *

Boys in the club screaming "these hoes ain't loyal."

Boys in the club screaming these hoes ain't loyal

Boys in the club screaming "these hoes ain't loyal" but they're drunk and cheating on their girlfriend with a chick who looks like Rafiki from The Lion King.

August 22, 2016

Bro, do you want to be seen or not?

Bro, do you want to be seen or not?

Bro, do you want to be seen or not?
* photograph of guy wearing camo pants with a Hi Vis Vest *

August 21, 2016

Responsibility has 14 letters...

Responsibility has 14 letters

Responsibility has 14 letters, but then again, so does "fuck ittttttttt"
* photographs of President Obama drinking pints of beer *

Home Depot aisle 15 in the sheets.

Home Depot aisle 15 in the sheets

I need a lady in the streets and a Home Depot aisle 15 in the sheets.

When ya'll been talking and she gets a man out of nowhere.

When ya'll been talking and she gets a man out of nowhere.

When ya'll been talking and she gets a man out of nowhere.

August 20, 2016

August 18, 2016

Sliding into her DMs.

Sliding into her DMs.

Dad, how did you meet mom?
* Picture of a man sliding into DMs / inbox *

August 17, 2016

I just think it's funny that...

I just think it's funny that

Obama: You're not mad at me, are you?
Michelle: No, I'm fine.
Obama: OK.
Michelle: I just think it's funny that...
* photo of Obama sighing *

Apple sends me Amber Alerts

Apple sends me Amber Alerts like I'm just gonna suit up like Batman

Dave Chappelle: Apple sends me Amber Alerts like I'm just gonna suit up like Batman and go save little Jessica. Nigga, it's 3AM - I'm sleeping.

Really wanted to be a doctor.

When your parents make you go pro when you really wanted to be a doctor.

When your parents make you go pro when you really wanted to be a doctor.

Mom: (faintly) you're always on that phone.

Mom: (faintly) you're always on that phone.

Mom: * having heart attack *
Me: * calls 911 *
Mom: (faintly) you're always on that phone.

August 16, 2016

I don't even know why I came here.

I don't even know why I came here.

"I don't even know why I came here."
* picture of Canadian sprinter Andre De Grasse reacting to Usain Bolt winning the race *

Nah, don't do this bro.

Nah, don't do this bro. Michy Batshuayi

Michy Batshuayi: Told you guys. Great feeling to win at home and assist in my first minutes here. Your messages are so appreciated.
H: @mbatshuayi I showed a girl my c*ck when you did that assist!
Michy Batshuayi: @Hazpillian Nah, don't do this bro.

When you have multiple squads

When you have multiple squads and you're not sure which one to turn up with.

When you have multiple squads and you're not sure which one to turn up with.

When bae act like she can square up

When bae act like she can square up with you but she's five feet tall.

When bae act like she can square up with you but she's five feet tall.
* picture of Rey Mysterio squaring up against The Great Khali *

Harambe: You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about.

You versus the guy that she tells you not to worry about.

You versus the guy that she tells you not to worry about.
* picture comparison of a gorilla teddy bear and Harambe *

If black dudes didn't think gymnastics is gay.

If black dudes didn't think gymnastics was gay

If black dudes didn't think gymnastics is gay, we would dominate. I seen a nigga flip over a fence with no hands while he was running from the cops.

August 15, 2016

Usain Bolt: You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

Usain Bolt: You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.

* Record scratch *
* Freeze frame *
Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
* photograph of Usain Bolt looking to the side, almost as if he's looking at the camera *

August 14, 2016

August 13, 2016

When niggas in the friendzone catch the boyfriend cheating.

When niggas in the friendzone catch the boyfriend cheating:

When niggas in the friendzone catch the boyfriend cheating

Texting the love of your life.

When you're having the best time texting the love of your life and your girl keeps asking you why you're on your phone so long.

Donald Duck - Texting the love of your life meme

August 12, 2016

Looking right because you left.

Looking right because you left. Looking left because you don't treat me right. Looking up because you let me down. Looking down because you f*cked up.

Looking right because you left.

When you hear Michael Phelps eats 10000 calories per day.

When you hear Michael Phelps eats 10,000 calories per day yet you only eat 2,000 and are still a fat piece of shit.

When you hear Michael Phelps eats 10,000 calories per day

August 11, 2016

Caitlyn Jenner got a man.

Caitlyn Jenner got a man and you females still walking around single summer 16:

Caitlyn Jenner got a man and you females still walking around single summer 16

When you make your own money, you can buy what you want.

Mom: When you make your own money, you can buy what you want.
Me: *makes my own money*
Me: *buys what I want*
Mom: Why would you spend money on something so stupid?
Me:

When you make your own money, you can buy what you want.

When you came into work at 7AM.

When you came into work at 7AM and worked 6 hours straight and the clock says 7:21AM.

When you came into work at 7AM and worked 6 hours straight and the clock says 7:21AM.

August 10, 2016

The worst thing she can say is no.

My homie: "Bro, the worst thing that she can say is no."
Her actual response: "Boy, get your goofy ugly ass out of my face."
* Arthur clenched fist *

The worst thing she can say is no.

Arthur going home early.

Me: Money is the motive. Gotta put in these hours.
Manager: You can go ahead and go home early if you'd like.
Me:

Arthur going home early.

When you cancel the Uber as they're arriving.

When you cancel the Uber taxi as they're arriving:

When you cancel the Uber as they're arriving.

Ja Rule on 2016 election.

Ja Rule on 2016 election. Dave Chappelle is somewhere dying from laughter.

Ja Rule on 2016 election

I blocked my ex on everything.

I blocked my ex on everything but she somehow managed to message me through Direct TV.

I blocked my ex on everything.

How are Harambe memes still popular?

"How are Harambe memes still popular?"

Me: "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die."

Harambe memes

When you put your baby daddy in jail.

When you put your baby daddy in jail for not paying child support and you stand outside the gate because you still love him tho.

When you put your baby daddy in jail

Me 98% of the time: America is thrash.

Me 98% of the time: America is thrash.

Me during the Olympics:

America is thrash

August 9, 2016

Jay Z ain't fooling anyone.

A photograph of an old black lady on the subway, with the caption "Jay Z ain't foolin' anyone."

Jay Z ain't fooling anyone.

You with God now?

Ex: I'm with someone better than you.
Me: You with God now?

You with God now?

How #BlackTwitter comes together.

How #BlackTwitter comes together whenever a new meme hits the TL (TL is short for timeline, by the way):

Black Power Rangers

Slow Jams Looking Motherf*cka

When Mama Say "Have some f*ckin manners and speak to my damn date" and this Slow Jams Vol. 7 looking motherf*cka sitting there like:

Slow Jams Looking Motherf*cka

Malia Ann Obama - 9/11

US President Obama's daughter Malia Ann Obama standing at a concert. Caption: "When you know the truth about 9/11, aliens, and who the next 5 presidents are but you gotta pretend you like Molly."

Malia Ann Obama Meme

Your card has been declined.

Caption:

"You card has been declined.

"Why you so loud for?"

Your card has been declined.

Arthur Meme - New Jacket

Arthur Fist Meme

An Arthur fist meme with the following caption:

Mother: Let me see you in that new jacket I got you.
Me: It's too big.
Her: You'll grow into it.
Me: [pic of a small version of Arthur's fist clenching]

Deciding between Clinton & Trump

US Olympic champion Michael Phelps doing that angry-looking stare of his. Caption "When you need to decide between Trump or Clinton."

Deciding between Clinton & Trump

DJ Khaled looks like a GTA load screen.

DJ Khaled looks like a computer-generated model on a Grand Theft Auto loading screen:

DJ Khaled - GTA Load Screen

Taking Selfies With Bae

Taking selfies with bae, knowing you bout to lose all your hoes will have you like:



Explanation: When his "side chicks" see the selfies that he is taking with his girlfriend, they're going to leave him.